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Ask the Golf Guzzler -- No. 22
Dear Guzzler: I'm more of an accomplished beer drinker than I am a golfer. Should I be satisfied with just going to the course with my pals and drinking mass quantities of beer and sacrificing a lot of golf balls to the golf gods, or should I try to improve my game and possibly affect the amount of beer that I would normally consume?
A: Golf is just a game. Beer, on the other hand, is a fermented beverage made from malted barley and flavored with hops. Keep your priorities straight.
Dear Guzzler: I like to keep my beer cold on the course, but I like to walk, too. When I buy six at my local cheap course, they dump them in a plastic bag with ice, which is awkward to carry when you're trying to drink and lug a golf bag. What's the answer here?
A: Try this easy four-step process:
Dear Guzzler: Hi. My friends and I were playing golf the other day and I started this technique that allows you to flip the ball onto the green using the back side of the putter. (You know, the offset rectangular putters that have a little groove in the back of them?) Anyway, the question is whether or not this technique is legal. My friends say it is not, but I think it is just sour grapes over the fact that I used it to smoke them. Anyway I would appreciate it if you would send me the answer to this "putter-flip" problem. Thanks.
A: Unbelievably, I have misplaced my official rules of golf. And I'll bet the same is true of your friends. Tell them it's not just legal -- it's the latest rage on the Senior Tour, dammit! I'd buy it.
Dear Guzzler: I am going to take up golf and would like to know how to determine what length clubs I will need.
A: Can't help you there, Your Lordship. I buy cheap clubs off the shelf. When I took up golf 30 years ago I decided to do it that way until I figure out if I like the game.
Dear Guzzler: Who, in the history of the PGA tours, has the most wins?
A: Wines? Usually they have cocktails.