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Ask the Golf Guzzler -- No. 22


 
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Spacer Dear Guzzler:  I'm more of an accomplished beer drinker than I am a golfer. Should I be satisfied with just going to the course with my pals and drinking mass quantities of beer and sacrificing a lot of golf balls to the golf gods, or should I try to improve my game and possibly affect the amount of beer that I would normally consume?

Sincerely,
Steve Owczarek
Warren, MI

A: Golf is just a game. Beer, on the other hand, is a fermented beverage made from malted barley and flavored with hops. Keep your priorities straight.beer glass

Dear Guzzler: I like to keep my beer cold on the course, but I like to walk, too. When I buy six at my local cheap course, they dump them in a plastic bag with ice, which is awkward to carry when you're trying to drink and lug a golf bag. What's the answer here?

John Hiner

A: Try this easy four-step process:
1. Get yourself a sturdy mesh bag like the kind they sell potatoes in. If necessary, buy potatoes.
2. Stop trying to impress people and rent or buy a pull cart.
3. Put the bag of ice and brew inside the potato bag.
4. Slip the handles of the mesh bag over the grip of your cart. Let it dangle as you walk the course.
Sure, you'll look goofy. Better goofy than parched.beer glass

Dear Guzzler: Hi. My friends and I were playing golf the other day and I started this technique that allows you to flip the ball onto the green using the back side of the putter. (You know, the offset rectangular putters that have a little groove in the back of them?) Anyway, the question is whether or not this technique is legal. My friends say it is not, but I think it is just sour grapes over the fact that I used it to smoke them. Anyway I would appreciate it if you would send me the answer to this "putter-flip" problem. Thanks.

A: Unbelievably, I have misplaced my official rules of golf. And I'll bet the same is true of your friends. Tell them it's not just legal -- it's the latest rage on the Senior Tour, dammit! I'd buy it.beer glass

Dear Guzzler: I am going to take up golf and would like to know how to determine what length clubs I will need.

A: Can't help you there, Your Lordship. I buy cheap clubs off the shelf. When I took up golf 30 years ago I decided to do it that way until I figure out if I like the game.beer glass

Dear Guzzler: Who, in the history of the PGA tours, has the most wins?

A: Wines? Usually they have cocktails.beer glass


 
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