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Ask the Golf Guzzler -- No. 35
Dear Guzzler: Is it ok to set your brew on the ground by the tee, or should you leave it in the cart?
A: Thank God we live in a free country, Jonesy. Tee box, green, bunker, it doesn't matter. Take your beer anywhere you may need a sip.
Dear Guzzler: Going to Walt Disney World for 4 days of golf and suds. Does the Mouse allow us to b.y.o. or do we have to plan on bringing our gold cards for the beer mouse? Plan on at least one round with a 'beer a hole' rules, so this may cause some of us to take out a third mortgage. Any advice?
A: Drunk or sober, you cannot survive these festivities without the Disney Company wringing every dollar from your available credit. You may as well go broke with a smile on your face.
Dear Guzzler: Hey, do you know any good golfing drinking games? Tim
A: Golf is a drinking game. If you want gimmicks, make the winner of every hole chug. That's how you find true champions.
Dear Guzzler: Why are your questions and solutions getting so long? I try to read them after a golf round but am having trouble focusing. Please break them down some. Too much advice???
A: You've discovered my secret. I am slowly transforming the Golf Guzzler into a practice SAT test. It's the least I can do for our nation's youth.
Dear Guzzler: Recently I was faced with this mind-twisting dilemma that only a man of your vast knowledge could solve. I had just made the trek up a HUGE hill to the next tee box, grabbed my next frosty one, and was ready to pop the tab when my partner began to hit his tee shot. Do I open the beer during his swing so I can partake of this sweet nectar, or do I prolong my agonizing thirst and wait for him to hit? signed, thirsty
Dear Guzzler: I'm new to this whole golf thing. I was wondering what's the difference between forged, tour, cast and "normal" irons.
A: Beats me. Stick to the cheap stuff. You won't mind nearly so much when you wrap a shaft around a tree trunk while trying to pitch out of the woods to save triple bogey.
Dear Guzzler: I must have thought of every possible swing thought I could think of to start my swing and nothing works for me!!! Should I try to feel a good swing or "think" about something to start my swing? Please please help me!!!!! Thank You so much!! Chris Ganz
A: Thinking ruins average golfers. When you start thinking about what you should think about, you're doomed. Just hit the ball. If you must think of something, think back on the most remarkable sexual experience of your life. It helps keep things in perspective when you skull one into a pond.