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Ask the Golf Guzzler -- No. 37
Dear Guzzler: Here's the problem, we have 5 holes left and I have
three brewski's left in my cooler to last me the rest
of the way (I hope), but my partner is out of cold ones in
his cooler. I don't want to give him one of mine as I have
just enough to make it to the 19th hole. What should I do
Your faithful guzzler and reader,
A: To hell with him. Why should you pay for his poor planning? And eat his flesh if you two ever survive a plane wreck in the Andes.
Dear Guzzler: My old college roommates and I get together for an annual golf outing each spring. We play 36 holes a day for three days. But, the main question facing us is on what holes is it proper to have a bloody mary, a beer, or a martini. And is it alright to mark your ball on the green with an olive?
Dear Guzzler: I periodically suffer from golfer's elbow. How do I cure and prevent it in the future? If I don't cure this I won't be able to enjoy all the 19th hole beers.
A: Believe it or not, your problem is in the wrist but the pain hits the elbow. Get a couple of five-pound hand weights and do wrist curls over the edge of a table or counter every morning. As your wrists strengthen, you'll drink like a kid again.
Dear Guzzler: Recently I visited da UP of Michigan. Great golf at Timber Stone in Iron Mountain. Us cheese heads from Wisconsin like our beer. At Gleasons in Iron Mountain we had 2 pitchers of Leinies HoneyWeiss. I put one on my bill. The charge was $10. I asked the server if that was for both. She said it is $10 for imported beers. Leinies is brewed in Chippewa Falls, 50 miles from where we live. Do Michigan dictionaries have a different definition of "imported" than Wisconsin's?
A: Holy wah. She musta been a Lions fan, eh? Some of those Finlanders aren't exactly sophisticated. So watcha ketchin', guy? Pike?