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Ask the Golf Guzzler -- No. 37

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Spacer bottle capDear Guzzler: Here's the problem, we have 5 holes left and I have three brewski's left in my cooler to last me the rest of the way (I hope), but my partner is out of cold ones in his cooler. I don't want to give him one of mine as I have just enough to make it to the 19th hole. What should I do or say?

Your faithful guzzler and reader,
Brad Hurta
Smithville, Texas

A: To hell with him. Why should you pay for his poor planning? And eat his flesh if you two ever survive a plane wreck in the glass

bottle capDear Guzzler: My old college roommates and I get together for an annual golf outing each spring. We play 36 holes a day for three days. But, the main question facing us is on what holes is it proper to have a bloody mary, a beer, or a martini. And is it alright to mark your ball on the green with an olive?

A: Ivy League boys, I assume. Bloodies are proper when it is too early for beer. Martinis start when the beer is gone. Eat the olive and use those little plastic swords for ball glass

bottle capDear Guzzler: I periodically suffer from golfer's elbow. How do I cure and prevent it in the future? If I don't cure this I won't be able to enjoy all the 19th hole beers.

A: Believe it or not, your problem is in the wrist but the pain hits the elbow. Get a couple of five-pound hand weights and do wrist curls over the edge of a table or counter every morning. As your wrists strengthen, you'll drink like a kid glass

bottle capDear Guzzler:  Recently I visited da UP of Michigan. Great golf at Timber Stone in Iron Mountain. Us cheese heads from Wisconsin like our beer. At Gleasons in Iron Mountain we had 2 pitchers of Leinies HoneyWeiss. I put one on my bill. The charge was $10. I asked the server if that was for both. She said it is $10 for imported beers. Leinies is brewed in Chippewa Falls, 50 miles from where we live. Do Michigan dictionaries have a different definition of "imported" than Wisconsin's?

A: Holy wah. She musta been a Lions fan, eh? Some of those Finlanders aren't exactly sophisticated. So watcha ketchin', guy? Pike?beer glass

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