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Ask the Golf Guzzler -- No. 2

 
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Spacer Dear Guzzler: I know cans make more sense than bottles on the course, but I prefer the way beer tastes from a bottle. Any suggestions?

A: Get off your high horse. Bottles are dangerous and should never be used on a golf course. If a ranger spots you with glass, it is like carrying a sign that says: "I snuck this beer in."

Dear Guzzler: Is golf the only way to practice my drinking, or will bowling help, too?

A: Whoa there, my friend. The purpose of golf is not to drink. That's the purpose of life. Golf is a great way to get a tan and delude yourself into a feeling of accomplishment. In that spirit, bowling is fine. But forget the tan.

Dear Guzzler: My stash tends to sweat, making a mess inside my bag. Any suggestions?

A: Some people build elaborate, waterproof linings of plastic and aluminum foil to solve this problem. That's too much work. Try duct tape, the multi-purpose golf repair tool. Tape inside your bag to create a tough plastic liner. Then use your golf towel (hey, it's good for something) to wipe it dry as needed. If that works, see if it will hold ice. If it doesn't work, find someone who gives a shit.


 
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