Golf Guzzler Product Alert

The Bogey Bag

Research shows that the second worst thing that can happen to golfers, behind running out of beer, is being forced to drink piss-warm beer. Now comes a golfing breakthrough that will make you forget about titanium, kevlar shafts and diamond-encrusted club faces: The Bogey Bag, a soft-sided, zip-up cooller designed to slip into the big "shoe pocket" of any golf bag.

Sold over the Internet by some guy in Massachussetts, the Bogey Bag is marketed as a sly way to carry up to 10 beers ("No coolers on golf course? Guess again, Mr. Ranger") and keep them cold. Naturally, when the Guzzler heard this he was more excited than than a sophomore with a peephole into the girls' locker room.

After two months of rigorous testing, Guzzler Consumer Research Labs gives the Bogey Bag its highest seal of approval.

My Bogey Bag arrived promptly in the mail along with two foiled-covered, refreezable ice packs. It cost $22.95, peanuts when you consider how much you can save on high-priced golf course beer. It is too big at 18x7x4 inches to fit into some golf bags. So what? The Guzzler threw away his vintage model bag and bought a new one. Start with cold beer and both ice packs and the brew stays cold all day. The Guzzler has taken his Bogey Bag on several courses without the slightest worry that anyone will notice the stash.

Loaded down with beer, your golf bag will probably be too heavy to carry. But it works fine with a pull cart. If you want to carry a golf bag, you must be too young to drink, anyway. Golf Guzzler Industries has no connection to the Bogey Bag (other than the fact that its inventer has the good sense to include a link to this page on his Web site). We get no money for promoting its sale.

One more thing. Since receiving his Bogey Bag, the Guzzler has shaved six strokes off his average score. Coincidence? I think not.